pretending

Vasquez, Alexandria. “People’s consistent need to fit in seems counterproductive.” 30/4/2010. http://www.uncmirror.com/opinions/people-s-consistent-need-to-fit-in-seems-counterproductive-1.1111568

Is the need to fit in preventing concentration on tasks that people are assigned? Many people, especially students, obviously place higher value on their social status than their studies or the job at hand. However what is even more troubling is that they feel that it is the right thing to do. Many consider faking to like someone will end up helping them in the end, because of the other friendships that are earned through that fake friendship. Like pretending to like someone, pretending to be something one is not is also a problem. Pretending to hate a certain person or a certain band just to gain friends is lying to one’s self and would seem to prevent happiness. In the article “People’s consistent need to fit in seems counterproductive” it is explained that “people feel the need to fit into the mold because of the fear of rejection.” This makes much sense seeing as how humans are social animals; we need social interaction and acceptance or we can go into a very dangerous depression. Lastly I agree with the last statement from this article which is “… if your pretending to be someone your aren’t just to say in the good graces of your so-called friends, maybe you should re-evaluate who you are hanging out with.”

Questions:
Is it fair for the people that are pretended to be liked?

Is it in anyway rewarding to the soul to pretend to be something you’re not?

Is it truly more beneficial in the long to be something you’re not, or yourself?

Do people know that they are receiving fake acceptance or love?

Ways of Knowing:

Reason – Many people see it to be beneficial later in life if they make many friends. In an economic since they weighed their costs and benefits and chose that they would be better off faking who they are to make friendships. Some would say that the costs of losing touch with ones true self is too great, and prefer to just be themselves.

Language – How we talk to others is an example of how we change ourselves to fit in. Using our language to mimic that of others makes them more comfortable and easy to get along with. If our languages were different then making friends would be much harder and fitting in would be next to impossible.

Perception – Peoples actions reflect how they act and talk to those around them. Mimicking people’s actions would allow you to be more like them and make them more comfortable with being your friend. However this sometimes requires on to pretend to act as the other person.

Emotion – Faking love is also seen in people wanting to fit in. Fitting in with certain people means breaking many hearts, or having sex with many people. People do this so that they can have friends to talk to. However because they do these things doesn’t mean that they want to do it, they just aren’t sure of another way to make friends.

Areas of Knowledge:

Natural Sciences – Many animals give displays of their power to be able to join a group of other animals. This makes sure that the animal trying to join will not hold the rest of them back.

Human Sciences – Humans are social animals. We need social interaction and love to be able to function properly. Some need less than others but all need it. Acceptance is what we strive for; fake or not we still receive it.

Ethics – can we justify giving those something they need (acceptance) and it be fake?

History – fake love has been around since the beginning. Arranged marriages were the first form. Parents would arrange for their children to marry just so that profitable ties would be formed, and help secure the future of both of the families.